Saturday, June 30, 2012

Where Have I Been? Or Why I Am Not Blogging About My Kids

On February 10, 2012, my life changed forever when three incredible boys became part of our family. You may have read about it here. I have been an advocate for adoption, foster care and adoption for almost ten years. My husband and I planned on beginning our family through adoption during our engagement. I have wanted to be an adoptive mom for such a long time. I have dreamt of “Gotcha Day” the way that most women dream of baby showers and planning nurseries. I had hoped to write about my journey to encourage others and show the real side of adoption, and in our case foster care. I wanted to write honest posts about our life, but when the boys came to us it really hit me that it isn't fair to them to expose their lives to a reading audience. They are human beings not content for blog posts. 

 I have always trumpeted God's call to care for the orphan, but orphans are people not a cause. Even the word orphan sounds awkward at our house. My husband and I have stopped wearing various and adoption and orphan care ministry t-shirts that we have accumulated. Our children are real people not defined by a legal status, preconceived notion or statistic. My children's lives have been filled with trauma, tragedy, loss and confusion. The very deep hurts that they have experienced are now causing deep hurts for my husband and me as well. I cannot write adorable anecdotes about our victories while not writing about our many defeats.

The decision to not write about our journey has been difficult, but I feel certain that I should not expose my boys’ story to an Internet audience. Without knowing their story sharing our story is not genuine. I would give a one dimensional view of a shiny happy family that isn’t fair to represent to people who are looking to me as a true and honest voice about foster care and adoption.

Once our children are legally adopted, I will post pictures and give life updates. (Until then I have gotten really good at taking pictures of the back of their heads.) There are some great blogs available to people interested in adoption. Do a quick google search and you will find dozens. You just won’t find mine.